I want to scream at that tiny percentage of ivory tower critics that this is a cosmic horror picture with Nic Cage that is Lovecraft and Richard Stanley and you are watching it at midnight at a genre film festival surrounded by goths and people with face tattoos and three inch wide ear implants and Doc Brown haircuts and wearing cravats who just drank the bar at Alamo Drafthouse dry. What were you expecting? Why are you even here?